A little arithmetic shows that 1017 people can be accommodated before duplication occurs. My Global Change course has led me to think about big numbers of people, so I considered the prospect that the University would assign someone else my number before I retire. After all, my social security number has a paltry 9 digits, and I know that vultures are out there awaiting the largesse from getting that number.
We have about 6 billion people on the planet now. When each of us individually accumulates 2x107 = 20,000,000 descendants, the University will have to start using duplicate numbers (that, of course, assumes that present recruitment efforts are very successful and all people on the planet are either staff or students at Iowa State University).
What will life be like with such a population of the planet? Well, for starters, there are about 1.5x1014 m2 of land area on the planet, so with 1017 humans occupying the planet, about 700 people will share each square meter of land surface. Those unfortunate enough to share the Antarctic continent will enjoy having a few warm bodies close at hand.
Now I got a little concerned that this many people might cause some global warming. Not to worry. The University has given us a solution for this as well. By each holding our ISU Card overhead at the proper angle, we can reflect enough solar energy to compensate for anthropogenic warming!
This is enough assurance for me that I and my ISU Card are unique. However, for those of you not satisfied yet, consider the possibilities that each of the 17 places on your Card be occupied by either a letter or number. This gives 3617 = 2.9x1026 unique cards to be issued. Another quick calculation shows that this will put 560 billion people (100 times the present population of the planet) per square meter over all land and water area of the planet.
Looking at the problem another way, if the Earth's population stabilizes around 10 billion with an average life expectancy of 70 years, then it will take 2x1018 years to use up the 2.9x1026 cards the University may already have printed. Note than this is 400 million times the age of the Earth. We should not fret over ISU Card duplication if the population of the planet stabilizes.
Now if an impending ice age is the factor to do in civilization, we have a built-in protection here as well. Your ISU Card has a mass of 4.491 grams and is composed primarily of plastic, which is a derivative of fossil carbon. Converting the mass of 2.9x1026 cards to combustible carbon would keep us warm for along time: last year the population of the planet consumed about 8x1015 grams of fossil fuels, so if we saved and burned all the unique ISU Cards with 17 identifying characters, we could power the planet for another 160 billion years at the present rate before running out of fuel. And by the way, it would take mass equivalent to twice the mass of the moon to create that many Cards.
Other University educational priorities could be met by use of this ingenious astronomical creation. For instance, just consider the incentive for good penmanship for those 217 = 131,072 students whose ISU Cards identification consists of nothing but combinations of the letter O and the number zero.
I get a warm feeling every time I sit and gaze at my little red ISU Card. We can all take great comfort in the assurance that our leaders have taken the long view on the issue of protecting the uniqueness of each member of the Iowa State University family.
Eugene S. Takle (with a little inspiration from Andy Rooney)
11/27/96